9/14/13

Driving home with Van is not so simple, it's like a pop quiz about life.
Here is our conversation.

Van: "Hey mom, what makes you feel better when you're dead?"
Me: "Well, nothing really."

Van: "Hey mom, I wish I had a magic ball, that steers."
Me: "Steers what? the car? Why?"
Van: "I want a ball that steers so I don't miss."
Me: "Miss what?"
Van: "The hole."
Me: "What hole?"
Van: "The golf ball hole."
Me: "ooooooh, you want a ball that when you throw or kick it, it steers itself towards the target."
Van: "Yeah."
Me: "That makes sense. Good idea"

Van: "Hey mom, when did the dinosaurs arrive?"
Me: "A long, long time ago."
Van: "Was it before I was born?"
Me: "yes."

Van: "Hey mom, do animals eat themselves?"
Me: "no…"
Van: "Why? Why don't animals eat themselves?"
Me: "What do you mean by that? Do you mean 'why doesn't an animal bite its own arm?', or 'why doesn't, for example, a bear eat another bear?'"
Van: "I mean why don't animals eat themselves."
Me: "Ok well if an animal was to eat its arm: first, that would hurt. Second, he wouldn't be able to use it anymore."
Van: "Like this?"
(Van tries biting his finger)
Me: "Yeah."

***

Van: "I've got little drum things in me."
 - Van, when he has the hiccups

***

Van and I are playing and he says, "Honk" around the same time that I say "Bonk"
Van: "Hey they Rhyme!!"
Me: "Yeah! You're right!"
Van: "Wait, did you already know that?"
Me: "Yeah"
Van: "Aw man"

***

Van set up a very creative game on the stairs with 'bad guys' (soft bowling pins on the floor) and he was up on the stairs  with 'savers' that he would use to knock the bowling pins down. He was playing and came to get me.
"Mom, Mom! look what I did!" He had knocked down all the bowling pins in one throw, triumphantly he says, "I scrambled those like scrambled eggs."